


Is What the Heart Wants (A Scene to Come)

by cryysis



Series: What the Heart Wants [2]
Category: Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-25 00:24:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryysis/pseuds/cryysis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Bilbo is on his way to Fili and Kili's house, and sees something he wasn't supposed to see.</p><p>Part of a series of scenes from 'What the Heart Wants', to be posted at a later date.<br/>Pairing for this Scene: Fili/Kili</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another scene from this series, this time featuring Kili and Fili in a compromising position.

The walk to the brother's home wasn't a long one, and Bilbo quietly cursed his nerves. While he had no doubt Fili and Kili wouldn't tease him harshly if he screwed up, he didn't want to disappoint his friends. Despite their attempt at assurance, he had never tutored anyone in his life. They seemed to think him some kind of Ancient Culture wizard, but Bilbo thought otherwise.  
  
He had a knack for it, sure, but not enough to tutor anyone. Gandalf was a true genius, and Elrod was the teacher, so surely he could help them more? But no, Thorin’s hatred of the Guidance Administrator seemed to extend to all of his family, and the two brothers were following his lead. Marvelous.  
  
By-passing the front door, Bilbo grinned as he followed the sounds of the brother’s favorite song. _A Year Without Rain_ was not something he would have ever pegged as a music choice for the boys, but according to Kili it was their favorite song to listen to. Remembering the first time he had visited their home, Bilbo unlatched the wooden side door the same way Fili had shown him. He hadn’t known about it then, and had sat in front of their door for nearly 20 minutes before he’d been found and corrected. It was not an experience he wished to repeat, and they should have been expecting him…  
  
A muffled groan made itself known over the music, as did a rather odd creaking sound. What were they doing back here that would incite such noises? With another step and a peak around the corner, he was given his answer.  
  
On one of the handful of pool chairs were Fili and Kili, the younger’s face flushed red while the elder brother jacked them both off one-handed. Kili tugged his brother down for a kiss, whimpering as Fili stroked over the head and squirming beneath his brother’s ministrations. It was a passionate moment, something intensely private not meant for anyone outside to see.  
  
Gasping, Kili pulled back from the kiss to cry out as Fili’s fingers found their way to his hole. Fili grinned at that, playing with his sibling mercilessly and leaving biting kisses up and down his neck. Kili turned his head in false denial, his eyes looking for anything to concentrate on other than the feeling of Fili’s hand on him. He was not expecting what he saw.  
  
“Bilbo!” Scrambling away from his brother, Kili’s face screamed panic as Fili moved to hide his nudity from their guest. “It’s—it’s not what it looks like, honest—” Even as Kili scrambled for some kind of excuse, Fili watched Bilbo with wary eyes. He made no excuses and did not try to stop any conclusions, only waited for whatever judgment Bilbo would make of them.  
  
At that moment though, there was nothing Bilbo really could say. His mind was blank of all thought as he stared at the two as if he’d never seen them before. Fili and Kili had always been close, of that there was no doubt. But to be _that_ close… Blinking in disbelief, Bilbo took a step back from them, halting Kili’s words.  
  
“Please, Bilbo, just hear us out!”  
  
“I…” He swallowed harshly, shaking his head as he stared at the ground. Finally, he looked up, attempting a weak smile but not really sure it came through. “I’ve just remembered I need to be somewhere, over… I ha-have to g-go…” Unable to look them in the eye, he did the only thing he could think to.  
  
He ran. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo confronts Fili and Kili.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys! Enjoy! :D

The long weekend gave Bilbo time to think, though whether or not it could be called too much or too little remained to be seen. Kili and Fili had both tried contacting him over the last few days, but Bilbo could not find it in himself to answer them. He wanted to, wanted to answer them and tell them it would be alright and they could still be friends.

The problem was Bilbo could not tell them that without first being sure of it himself. Yes, Kili and Fili had both been his first friends upon entering the school. They had been helpful and kind even when the rest of their band had not. With that thought in mind, Bilbo did not want to answer them with kindness in return only to change his mind later. They were good people, and they deserved better than that.

Remembering that moment in their yard had him flushing down to his bones. They were brothers! Incest was one of the largest taboos in today’s society and could get them both thrown in jail. Not that he would tell, gracious no, but that was beside the point. Didn’t they worry about that at all? If they were found out they would be separated, scorned by everyone they cared about. Why would they be willing to risk it?

And then there was the fact that they both were dating other people! Well… Maybe not at that particular moment, but they had been a month ago. Was their relationship a recent development? Or maybe the others had only been a ploy to distract everyone from what was really happening.

Did Thorin know?

The thought gave him pause before he shook his head in denial. No, Thorin couldn’t know. There was no way he could unless they had told him, which he would bet life and limb was a deal breaker. Thorin would never know, lest he shun them for the rest of their natural lives. The brothers looked up to their cousin with all the respect they could muster. Thorin would not approve of that kind of relationship between the brothers, and so they would separate which would in turn break their hearts.

It made him wonder if anyone aside from himself and the brothers knew. Would the others of their group accept such a coupling, or cast them out in horrified disgust? Would they remain their friends even if they did not give their approval? Was that even a possibility?

The thought of Fili and Kili alone, away from everyone they loved and cared for just to be together tore at his heart. They were good boys, there was no doubt of that. They had both gone to numerous ends to make him feel welcome among their group, and for someone who knew what lonesomeness felt like, Bilbo would be forever grateful.

Right then. He would speak with them the next day at school, and that was all there was to it!

Well, that had been plan, anyway. Instead Bilbo had woken the next morning sicker than he’d even been in his life, and so had remained home for the day. He had been encouraged to try and stay for a second day as well, but he wouldn’t hear it. For one, he couldn’t stand to miss that much school. Even worse, he hadn’t contacted Fili and Kili yet, which meant they were still waiting to hear from him! That just wouldn’t do for the son of Belladonna Took, no sir indeed! The issue would be resolved today or his name wasn’t Bilbo Baggins!

He ignored the red paleness of his face, and made himself walk slowly so as not to trip while he still felt so woozy. It took him longer then he cared to admit, but he made it over to the company’s usual hang out with minimum fuss. He did not notice the sharp, concerned gazes that watched him as he listed to one side. And he completely ignored Thorin as he began to rise, concentrating only on his goals: Fili and Kili.

Lightly shaking his head to clear it some had been a bad idea, as was apparent when Kili and Fili jumped forward to grab his arms before he fell. He took a shuddering breath while they called his name, worry heavily lining their faces. He needed to get this out though. He would be more concerned for his health after.

“I n… Need to speak with you, Fili, Kili. Tis a… Tad more important th-than… This.” The words were slow coming, which bothered Bilbo some, but he knew they could understand him. Perhaps it would help him get his message across better.

“Surely it can wait til you’re not about to keel over, Bilbo!” Bofur’s voice reached him, and had Bilbo the necessary strength to reprimand him, he would. As it was, he could do little more than speak to get his words out. Why on earth was he having so much trouble with this?

“I am not going to keel over, Bofur, I assure you.” The push in that phrase came from his internal reservoir of strength, and he again used to it balance himself and stand a little straighter between Fili and Kili. He took a wrist from one brother in each hand, but they moved to clasp their hands and fingers together instead. It all had the same effect, so he didn’t care. 

“Please, Bilbo, let it wait--!”

“—You don’t look good at all and—”

“—We’d much rather you be healthy and mad—”

“—Then not around to be mad at all!”

Honestly, these boys were simpletons. Finding that apparent inner strength again, Bilbo turned around, still clutching the boy’s hands, and dragged them off towards the sports fields. “I’ll return them in a bit you all; I just need to borrow them!”

Fili’s and Kili’s spluttering protests went either ignored or unheard on their walk to the fields, and the brothers eventually lapsed into silence. They glanced to each other behind Bilbo’s back, and Fili motioned to the vending machine next to the dugouts. Kili gave him a small smile in agreement, and when they were close enough, he pulled his hand from Bilbo’s and dashed towards the machine.

Fili took over before Bilbo could start complaining, leading him to the empty bleachers and sitting him there. Kili appeared just moments later, cap already off one of the two Gatorade's in his hand. Snagging the opened bottle, Fili pressed it into Bilbo's hands, giving the other a stern look. "Drink. No, no, now don't give me that look! We'll not say another word until you drink the bottle."

Bilbo was stubborn, but not as much as Kili. If anyone could get that wet rag to cooperate when he was sick, it would mean the second coming. In comparison, Bilbo was hardly a challenge for Fili at all. Fili and Bilbo stared each other down in a silent competition, leaving Kili glancing between them nervously.

Sighing, Bilbo admitted defeat by taking a sip of the drink. Fili was still staring him down though, with a put-upon sigh, Bilbo drank more. He slowly finished off the first, and when it was empty he was handed the other and made to drink it as well. The brothers didn’t relax until he was half-way through the second bottle, and he set the drink to the side for a brief time.

There was an awkward silence for a small stretch of time, with Fili and Kili nervously shuffling their feet. Bilbo had quite forgotten what he had planned to say to them, and so was staring at the floor until. He knew the basics of it, and wasn’t as if he was condemning them or anything. It was quite the opposite in fact. But the longer he took to gather his thoughts, the more nervous the boys became. It was now or never.

Giving himself a moment, Bilbo properly looked to the brother's, his nerves obvious on by his expression. "Look, about what happened... What I saw..." Fili's expression seemed to shut down, his eyes hiding whatever emotion he was feeling. Kili was the opposite, his worry obvious by the biting of his lip even as his bangs fell in front of his eyes.

When it came down to it, there really was nothing he could do about it until he finished explaining. "I'm not going to lie to you and say I was perfectly alright with it. You both saw differently, and you deserve better than that." Licking his lips, Bilbo closed his eyes a moment to hold off his rising headache. "I've had the weekend to think it over. I would have come to school yesterday so we could talk, but I couldn't get out of bed and was forbidden to try." His grin was fell of self-depreciation, and the small shrug of his shoulders just made him hunch in on himself. "I can't... I can't say I'm totally alright with it. By everything I know it's wrong to do what you two are doing, you're brothers for God’s sake, but..."

His pause drew Fili's gaze, and there was a light in Kili's eyes that had not been there before. It was Fili who asked, "But?"

His headache was back ten-fold, but Bilbo did his best to not let it show. "But in the end, it’s not really my business, is it? What you two get up on your own is between you two and you two alone. I have no say in that, and it's wrong of me to try." Giving a small nod, he looked between both brothers before saying what he had decided on only moments ago.

"Also, I just want you to know... If you ever need somewhere to go where you don't have to hide it... Somewhere you can just be yourselves without worrying about what the people around you think. If you need a place like that, my door is always open for you." Shrugging, he smiled shyly at their obvious looks of disbelief. “I know it’s not much, but—”

“It is, please, please it is!” Kili stepped forward, falling to his knees before Bilbo, who looked quite shocked to see him there. “It… It means everything, Bilbo, really it does. We just…” Here, Kili looked back to his brother, at a loss for what to say to such an offer. What does one say offered a place to go where they wouldn’t have to hide? Where they could be themselves without fear of disgust and abandonment?

Fili could barely believe it either. He and Kili had never told anyone what was going on between them behind closed doors. Incest was the taboo of taboo’s, unspeakable even in the drudges of society. That Bilbo was offering them a refuge, a place of safety meant so, so much to them. “There’s nothing we can say to tell you how much this means to us. You really don’t…” Fili didn’t bother hiding the tears as they came to his eyes, staring at the other as if seeing him for the first time. “And you’re sure about this? You don’t need to oblige us, we don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Bilbo huffed a laugh. “Honestly Fili, I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t sure. You’re both welcome in my home just as you are. I will not ask you to hide, only that you give me some time to get used to it.” Bilbo frowned for a moment, considering. “Shouldn’t take too long I expect, once I get used to the idea.”

Kili laughed with delight, startling Bilbo as he wrapped his arms tightly around the Hobbit’s waist and tucked his face beneath the other’s chin. “Thank you, thank you! By Aulë, I hadn’t ever thought something like this could happen!”

Fili shook his head, walking over and embracing his friend and brother both. “Thank you, Bilbo. Really, truly, thank you.” He did not see the Halfling’s flush of delight, but he heard the quite ‘you’re welcome’ as it was whispered in bashful pride. So long as Bilbo would open his door, Fili and Kili would be loving, supporting friends for the other man. And even longer after the day it closed.

For now, they were safe. For now, they could be content.

**Author's Note:**

> The thing I wanted to get across with this is that in a normal world, incest is not common place. It isn't something accepted just because people love each other. Seeing it like this would incite a reaction just like Bilbo's if not worse. Incest is considered taboo here, as it would be in any modern AU. So I think for a first reaction, Bilbo did rather well when considering everything.


End file.
